Chicago Says No More

October 28, 2016

Chicago Says No More: Embrace the conversation

“People I had known for years, who I never suspected were victims, shared their journeys.” By Mary E. Toomey Last year, while organizing an employee awareness event at my company around domestic violence and sexual assault, I learned I did not realize the power silence can have, if we let it. In any setting, including a corporate one like Bank of America, it can be uncomfortable to discuss such a sensitive, serious issue. Yet, creating a safe space for dialogue and simply listening to each other is one of the most important things we as people and as a company can...

October 14, 2016

CHICAGO CATHOLICS IN DV MINISTRIES

By Rev. Charles Dahm, O.P. I have been preaching about domestic violence during Sunday services for eight years, visiting close to 90 parishes at least once. The Archdiocese of Chicago Domestic Violence Outreach (ACDVO) now includes ministries at 75 of about 350 parishes in the Chicago area. When I started visiting parishes, occasionally a priest would push back, usually because he did not understand the dynamics of domestic violence. Sometimes priests resist the idea of my sermon and a DV ministry because they think it is not a big problem or talking about DV will be controversial. Typically, there are two or three...

October 10, 2016

NEVER TOO YOUNG TO CALL FOR HELP

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-877-863-6338 By Adela Tobias At 19, I was too young to understand I was in an abusive relationship. I felt lonely and isolated—even though I was in college in Chicago and living with my family and near my friends. One of my classmates who knew my boyfriend mentioned I should think about speaking to a counselor. I knew my parents didn’t like him. My mom saw the signs. I know now even I saw he was controlling. He wasn’t in school with me, but he had to pick me up after every class. If I had known about domestic violence earlier,...

September 30, 2016

WHAT IF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE JUST STOPPED?

By Yesenia Maldonado I was honored to participate in Chicago Says No More: A Call for Hope, sponsored by Verizon, a telethon recently held during the 5 and 6:00pm newscasts on CBS 2 Chicago. As one of 15 trained crisis counselors at this event, I responded to viewers who contacted the Domestic Violence hotline (1-877-863-6338) seeking advice about DV services and resources available to them or to someone they know. As a Steering Committee member of Chicago Says No More, and as Executive Director of Between Friends, an agency preventing and ending domestic violence in Chicago and the northern suburbs, this opportunity...

September 27, 2016

THE LASTING IMPACT OF “A CALL FOR HOPE”

By Gwyn Kaitis CBS 2 Chicago reporter Dana Kozlov hosted Chicago Says No More: A Call for Hope, sponsored by Verizon, on September 19, 2016 during the 5 and 6pm newscasts “Callers are afraid we are going to tell them to leave. We don’t. The decision to leave or stay is up to the individual.” Gwyn Kaitis, MA CDVP, executive director of Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-877-863-6338 The call volume tripled at the Domestic Violence hotline during the Chicago Says No More telethon on CBS 2 sponsored by Verizon, during the 5 and 6pm newscasts recently. .. …And the phones are still ringing. People in domestic...

September 20, 2016

SOMETHING WORTH FIGHTING FOR

By Mary MacLaren Duty, honor, country. This, we’ll defend.” “Not for self, but country.” “Aim high…Fly, fight and win!” U.S. Armed Forces slogans These lofty goals embodying long-standing traditions of the U.S. armed forces are words I live by—especially “Aim high,” which I now bring to my role as chair of the Workplace EAP Task Force for Chicago Says No More. As an officer for 23 years and a colonel in the Air Force for six, I know about the challenges experienced by women in the military. In 1985, I had just graduated from the National War College (NWC). My new boss, also an NWC grad,...

September 13, 2016

WHY COULDN’T SHE JUST LEAVE?

BY PAT DAVENPORT Yesterday, I heard it again. It was a domestic violence case and the victim was describing what had happened to her. The judge asked the victim’s lawyer, “What did she do that caused him to do that to her?” Whatever happened no one should touch another human being like that, I thought. Abuse is not accidental, but planned and chronic. If you have not been exposed to it, you may find it difficult to understand. Unfortunately, the judge’s question was not unusual. Victim-blaming is common. Yes, prosecutors still say, “Oh, you know, they’re drunk. They’re asking for it.” We treat animals better...

September 7, 2016

THE 3 THINGS SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIMS NEED TO HEAR

By Alderman Matt O’Shea “I believe you. It’s not your fault. You are not alone.” Annie E. Clark on what to say to a victim of sexual assault. The beginning of the school year is always full of promise—and challenges for students, and parents. This year is different for me in an important way. This year I am part of a movement to build awareness of the prevalence of sexual assault on college campuses. To encourage families to talk about the dangers for young men and women starting their adult lives, whether or not they are going away to school. Last winter, Kristie Paskvan, founder...

June 28, 2016

WITNESS TO A MURDER

By Kathleen Doherty After domestic violence victim Jessica Hampton was stabbed to death on a Red Line train last week, many have asked: why didn’t more people help? But that inquiry must start much earlier than the Thursday, June 23, 2016 murder and must expand far beyond eyewitnesses to the attack itself. Ending tolerance for domestic violence is a responsibility that belongs to us all. To better understand how a relationship ends in death, we must ask ourselves: what messages did the perpetrator receive throughout his life that reinforced the idea that violence was an acceptable option? What messages did the survivor receive...

June 22, 2016

A SAFE ENVIRONMENT: Protecting your employees and your business

By Mary MacLaren Every employer has a reason to be scared. I thought the definition of workplace violence was a classic disgruntled employee who shows up at an office looking for revenge over a dismissal. I found out most cases are not like that. Domestic violence and sexual harassment or assault takes multiple forms. The human costs are often brutal and possibly fatal. The economic consequences are incalculable, difficult to contain, and exposure to liability may be considerable. The estimates are staggering: American businesses spend $8.5 billion each year in disability payments, lost time and productivity. One CEO described how his company spent $50 million...