Chicago Says No More

June 15, 2016

ABOUT DADS: Doesn’t every man want to be the best father he can be?

By Rev. Charles Dahm, O.P. At first, I did not see the problem of domestic violence in our Chicago parish because it was invisible to me. I don’t think women trusted me enough to share their pain, and I was not sensitive enough to detect their suffering. It wasn’t until I hired a pastoral counselor who showed me how to discover domestic violence. That’s when I started to talk about abuse—and the victims came forward. Then I realized something that was counter-intuitive to me. The women did not want to leave or lose their abusers. In spite of their abusive behavior, these men...

April 27, 2016

The New Normal – Courageous Survivors Who Speak Out

The New Normal Courageous Survivors Who Speak Out Films That Shine a Light By Sharmili Majmudar I started working in the field of gender-based violence when I was an undergraduate at George Washington University in D.C. 25 years ago. After I received my master’s in social work at Loyola University Chicago, I began doing clinical work with women and children who were traumatized, primarily because of domestic violence. In 2008, I began serving as Executive Director of Rape Victim Advocates. Throughout my gender-based violence work, I came in contact with many survivors, but I also became aware that so many people who were close to...

March 22, 2016

The Client Connection : What I Learned At America’s Beauty Show 2016

By Jessica McCarihan My sessions leading Chicago Says No More’s first-ever awareness training program during America’s Beauty Show - started with questions for the dozens of women and a few men about what they may have observed or heard from clients as they styled their hair or held their hands while-polishing their nails. Statistically, a few people in the audience were themselves likely victims of domestic violence or sexual assault, but it was not possible to tell who was or was not a survivor. Everyone in the room was paying close attention. The intensity and the seriousness of the salon professionals I...

March 2, 2016

The Hunting Ground

‘You can never fully recover from something like this.’ Alderman Matt O’Shea regarding sexual assault on campus. This film sends a strong message, and that is why I believe every high school upperclassman should watch. After viewing the documentary, I thought more about the many stories I’ve heard over the years about what happens to some of our young people when they go away to college. So, I became convinced our students in Chicago’s 19th Ward need to be educated. The Hunting Ground is eye-opening, a window into what happens on college campuses: I’m talking about every type of campus from community colleges...

December 2, 2015

Domestic Violence In The Media

Abuse is frequently romanticized—or even glamorized—in pop culture. Naughty people doing wicked things elicits a wink and a nod, practically an endorsement rather than condemnation. Even in news stories, the victim is blamed in sensational crimes that get shared on social media. The social network’s self-righteous streak implicates victims as somehow complicit with perpetrators. Many asked why Rihanna and Janay Rice stayed with their partners, when they should have been focusing on the real question: Why and how did their partners become abusers? The key question. Why do we ask victims to justify their behavior? Is there a need for #WhyIstayed? Nicole...

October 2, 2015

The Too Perfect Guy

“The Perfect Guy,” starring Sanaa Latham, Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut, is about domestic violence. Instead of approaching the subject of DV as something that can happen to anyone, it focuses exploring how a tough, strong, successful woman can become a victim so quickly. The woman bears all the responsibility. First, she allows the Perfect Guy into her life. Then she lets him hurt her. This is a classic example of how society views domestic abuse: Blame the victim. One-in-three women and one-in-seven men experience violence from intimate partners. Many abusive relationships start out as too good to be true. The National...

September 28, 2015

The heartbreaking truth about campus sexual assault

Sexual assault on campuses has dominated recent news. The new powerful Lady Gaga video, “Till It Happens To You,” describes in detail the trauma of sexual assault, as well as the devastation and loss of self-esteem that follow. The five minute movie by distinguished female filmmaker Catherine Harwicke, (who directed “Twilight” in 2008 and “Thirteen” in 2003) and Diane Warren composer of the song, a theme for a documentary about campus rape, “The Hunting Ground,” realistically speak about an experience many people would rather not face. But the prevalence of college rape demands attention. The Gaga video puts the violence—its...

September 11, 2015

Campus Sexual Assault in Illinois: Progress, But Our Work is Not Done

College students and parents across Illinois recently received welcome news when House Bill 821, Attorney General Lisa Madigan’s legislation to help colleges and universities prevent and address campus sexual assaults, became law in Illinois. HB821, The Preventing Sexual Violence in Higher Education Act, sponsored by Rep. Michelle Mussman (D-Schaumburg) and Sen. Toi Hutchinson (D-Olympia Fields), goes into effect August 1, 2016, and will require Illinois colleges and universities to: Develop a clear, comprehensive campus sexual violence policy, including detailed incident reporting options and university response guidelines; Notify student survivors of their rights, including their right to confidentiality; of the protections the university can...

August 31, 2015

First Response: The Importance of Listening When Sexual Assault Survivors Tell Their Stories

When New York Magazine published their now-iconic cover story featuring 35 women who reported that, over the course of many years, Bill Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted them, social media was ablaze. With Cosby having admitted in a deposition to using Quaaludes with women, it seemed the tide had begun to turn from the aggressive doubting of these women’s accounts to a reluctant acceptance that perhaps Cosby had actually harmed them. Within their stories, and within the stories of so many of the survivors that we at Rape Victim Advocates (RVA) have served in Chicago since 1974, there’s a shared pivotal moment that deserves...